Things Not to Do at Xavier's
by Amelia Glitter
Summary: The following rules apply to all students, as well as any guests or allies that come to visit. Please realize that breaking a rule will result in harsh punishments.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters

**Summary:** The following rules apply to all students and faculty, as well as any guests or allies that come to visit. Please realize that breaking a rule will result in harsh punishments.

**Disclaimer:** X-Men: Evolution does not belong to me. I just like to play pretend with the characters.

**Amelia Notes:** Okay, a bazillion-gazillion of these things have been written in various fandoms. I haven't found one for Evo. So I decided to write one. Also, this takes place after the end of the series, but doesn't

Format: (in case you don't figure it out)

**Bold **words are what Xavier has written

_Italics_ are various comments that students have scribbled nearby the rule. To prevent confusion the notes will be written in semi-script format so the reader knows who writes what (though the students aren't really writing it like that because they know each other's handwriting). Also, because this is in writing, no accents will be used (e.g. Rogue would not write 'Ah' instead of 'I'), except for slang words (like 'ya'll' or 'crikey' or 'dude'). Please note that a great deal of time passes between scribbles.

So, confused yet? Good.

* * *

**The following rules apply to all students, as well as any guests or allies that come to visit. There are to be no exceptions. Please realize that breaking a rule will result in harsh punishments.**

**1) Hiding Scott's glasses is not funny.**

_Kurt: Usually_

_Bobby: For the most part._

_Ray: Unless he's wearing those funny 'sleeping goggles'_

_Scott: I'm in charge of your next Danger Room session._

**2) The creation of static electricity for the sole purpose of making people shock each other and/or making their hair stand on end is strictly forbidden.**

_Ray: Yeah, but did you see Jean's hair?_

_Bobby: And Sam's?_

**3) Do not try to change someone's code name. Especially if it is not yours.**

_Tabby: I think Mr. Logan likes Badger._

_Kurt: I don't like Wild Blue Yonder Boy!_

_Alex: Wild Blue Yonder Boy? That rocks!_

_Kurt: I'm calling you Sharkbait from now on._

_Jamie: Sharkbait, hoo-ha-ha!_

_Alex: Dude, I don't get it._

**4) Clean up your messes.**

_Scott: This means you Bobby!_

_Bobby: Man, Amara leaves things melted all over the place and no one yells at her!_

_Amara: Oh yeah? Sam breaks things!_

_Sam: Hey! I do clean up my messes!_

**5) Do not leave things inside people's bodies.**

_Kitty: How come there is a whole rule written just for me?_

**6) Using your powers on something 'just to see what will happen' is forbidden.**

_Remy: But that was funny!_

_Jean: You tried to charge a BOMB! They're already supposed to blow up! You don't need to charge them to blow up some more!_

_Remy: How does something 'blow up some more'?_

_Rogue: Shut up, she's right_

_Remy: Hey, whose side are you on?_

_Rogue: Mine. I've had to listen to whining about singed eyebrows for the past three days!_

**7) Scribbling on this rule sheet is NOT ALLOWED!**

_Alex: Dude, even I know that's not going to work._

_Jamie: Sharkbait hoo-ha-ha!_

_Alex: wtf?_

**8) Do not even think about using Nair on Mr. McCoy.**

_Bobby: I hadn't…until now._

**9) Glitter does not suit everyone.**

_Roberto: Except Ray and Alex._

_Ray+Alex: The minute we find you…_

_Jamie: Sharkbait hoo-ha-ha!_

_Alex: Omigod, dude, what's your fricking malfunction?_

**10) Playing the 'air-guitar' to that song (you know which one I'm talking about!) in the foyer is not allowed; even if it is something you can all agree upon.**

_Lance: With the lights out, it's less dangerous! Here we are now, entertain us!_

_Alex: I feel stupid, and contagious! Here we are now, entertain us!_

_Pietro: A mulatto, an albino! A mosquito, my libido!_

_Bobby: And I forget just why I taste, oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile_

_St. John: I found it hard, it's hard to find_

_Scott: Stop it! Do NOT put any more of that song on this paper!_

_Ray: Oh well, whatever, never mind_

_Scott: Thank you, Ray._

_Remy: ROFL_

**11) Wanda is allowed to hex Toad as much as she wants.**

_Wanda: I think this is an excellent rule._

_Toad: Oh, schnookums-bumkins-lovey-pie, you don't mean that!_

_Wanda: Erase it. ERASE IT!_

_Sam: He wrote it in pen._

**12) Rule #11 is not a real rule, please disregard it.**

_Wanda: Damn_

**13) NO TIME-WARPING!**

_Forge: Why not?_

_Pietro: It's fun._

_St. John: Especially the pelvic thrust bit._

**14) Mr. McCoy's lab is off limits. As is Ms. Munroe's greenhouse and garden.**

_Bobby: Sam spilled that stuff and broke those test tubes._

_Sam: Bobby froze those herbs._

_Bobby: Amara tried to thaw them out and scorched them!_

_Amara: Which I wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't been clumsy in the first place!_

**15) Taunting people in a language they do not understand will get you in trouble.**

_Roberto: Maybe, but he still won't understand it!_

_Ray: I have got to take Spanish instead of French_

_Wanda: I'll assume this rule doesn't apply to me when I'm speaking to Todd?_

_Pietro: Or me when I talk to Daniels?_

_Lance: Not our fault they're not multi-lingual_

_Rahne: Yeah!_

_Kurt: Lance can speak another language?_

* * *

That's the first installment of rules! I've got two more installments ready to go up, but you have to wait until next week. Why? Because I feel like it. Honestly, I'm trying to keep ahead of myself, so that if I have to stop writing for a few weeks, I'll still be able to update. If you have any suggestions, please use the 'contact' on my profile to send them to me.

Oh yeah, and this fic might sporadically disappear, since I think it's dancing on the edge of some of FF.N's rules.


	2. Chapter 2

Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters

* * *

**16) You are not Steve Irwin and the students are not strange and dangerous animals.(1)**

_St. John: Yeah, Remy._

_Remy: wtf?_

**17) Movies for Movie Nights are limited to G, PG or a PG-13 that has been previously viewed by a faculty member. If all audience members are over sixteen, R rated movies will be considered. No exceptions.**

_Rogue: Lost Boys should not be rated R_

_Wanda: If I have to watch The Princess Bride one more time…_

_Rahne: The Labyrinth! Can we watch The Labyrinth? What about Dark Crystal?_

_Rogue: Dark Crystal_ _is good!_

_Wanda: I'm going to trust you on this, Rogue._

_Bobby: Can we watch Gothika?_

_Everyone: NO!_

_Wanda: What's Gothika?_

**18) Rahne is Scottish, not Irish.**

_Rahne: So stop asking me to do 'Lord of the Dance'!_

_Roberto: Do you have a kilt?_

_Rahne: MEN wear kilts you bloody idiot!_

**19) Stop calling Alex 'Sharkbait'.**

_Alex: THANK YOU!_

_St. John: Mine._

_Everyone: Mine, mine, mine_

_Alex: WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?_

**20) We have several T.V.s in this house. Stop fighting over the one in the rec room.**

_Kurt: Invader Zim!_

_Rogue+Wanda+Sam+Remy: Bones!_

_Todd: Yeah, what they said!_

_Wanda: Shut up Todd._

_Jean+Kitty+Amara+Tabby: ANTM!_

_Jubes+Rahne+Pietro: What Not to Wear!_

_Lance: 'Tro?_

_Pietro: WHAT?_

_Lance: Nothing_

_Scott+Bobby+Roberto: House!_

_Lance+Ray: The History of Heavy Metal!_

_Freddy: Can we watch Iron Chef?_

_Everyone: NO!_

_Mr. McCoy: I'm rather a fan of House myself._

_Scott+Bobby+Roberto: HA!_

_Ms. Munroe: If we're voting, ANTM_

_Jean+Kitty+Amara+Tabby: YES!_

_Piotr: I like House_

_Jamie: Yeah, me too!_

_Scott+Bobby+Roberto: HOUSE WINS!_

_Alex+Evan+St. John: The X-Games are on!_

_Xavier: X-Games win._

_Evan: Rock on! Shaun White!_

**21) Stop slapping Jamie on the head whenever you walk by him.**

_Tabby: That is soooo fun though!_

_Jamies: We don't think so. We don't like it when you slap us._

_Rogue: That's creepier than Remy._

_Remy: Huh? How is Remy being creepy?_

**22) All puns involving rocks are getting very, very old.**

_Lance: Hey!_

_Scott: He's right._

_Lance: You come up with most of them!_

_Kitty: He's right._

**23) 'Dance Dance Revolution' tournements are not to be held between the hours of 10:00 pm** **and 7:00 am. Ever.**

_Kurt: Reigning champion!_

_Todd: I almost had you, you fuzzy gecko._

_Pietro: I could be better if I wanted to…_

_Wanda: …If you didn't get bored because the arrows don't move fast enough._

_Pietro: Not my fault the rest of the world can't keep up with me!_

**24) Stop trying to pin a halo into Warren**'**s hair.**

_Kitty: But it would be soooo funny!_

_Tabby: If he would have just put it on in the first place_

_Jubes: But noooo, he had to make us do it the sneaky way._

_Warren: MAKE YOU?_

**25) Stop trying to pin horns into Warren**'**s hair.**

_Tabby: You suck._

_Jubes: No kidding._

_Warren: And if any of you even think about white robes and harps…_

**26) Trying to come up with 'Mutant Pickup Lines' is not considered a productive use of time.**

_Tabby: I see wings, did you just fall from Heaven?_

_Lance: Can I rock your world?_

_Jubes: I see sparks between us._

_Magneto: We are drawn together like magnets._

_Wanda: WHAT THE HELL?_

_Pietro: Scarred! I'm scarred for life!_

_Alex: Dude, he had to get your mom at some point…_

_Wanda: My brain!_

**27) Please, someone show Alex Finding Nemo before he goes completely insane.**

_Rahne: Showing him that was a really bad idea…_

_Alex: Dude, that movie is awesome! The turtles so rock! I want to watch it again!_

_Scott: Oh no. Rahne, you've created a monster._

**28) THAT SONG IS NOT ALLOWED!**

_Lance: You said no air guitar in the foyer to the song, not that the song itself was forbiddon!_

_Alex: Down with censorship!_

_Ray: Damn the Man!_

**29) Rahne does not have rabies.**

_Rahne: Ha!_

_Roberto: But she did bite me._

_Sam: You did ask if it was 'that time of the month again'_

_Alex: Yeah, and with a girl werewolf?_ _You were just asking for it, dude._

**30) Do not throw people out of the bathroom before they have a chance to dress.**

_Roberto: He was taking too long in the shower. Besides, I threw him out of the shower, not my fault he crashed through the door._

_Amara+Jubes+Kitty: We didn't mind!_

_Alex: Dude, guys, Sam is STILL blushing…_

* * *

(1) A small memorial to Steve Irwin. Even if he was an idiot, he was funny idiot. Besides, St. John wandering around going "Crikey! That telepath's got some bite to 'er!" is just too funny. 


	3. Chapter 3

Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters

**Amelia Note:** These aren't particularly funny, as far as I'm concerned. I'm running out of ideas. The next installment may be slow in coming.

* * *

**31) Do NOT assign theme songs to everyone in the mansion.**

_Lance: I wanna rock'n'roll all night! And party every day!_

_Tabby: Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room!_

_Kurt: Yo listen up, here's the story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world!_

_St. John: Baby's on fire, better throw her in the water. Look at her laughing! Like a heifer to the slaughter!_

_Pietro: He's got a thousand talents! Charisma by the bagful! Aristocratic parents! A rebel with a heart of gold!_

_Tabby: Hey! You can't pick out your own theme song!_

**32) Do not mock each other's speech patterns.**

_Sam: Yeah, ya'll suck._

_Roberto: He WRITES it too!_

_Sam: Whatever, amigo_

**33) DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE'S CODE NAME!**

_Evan: Whoa, Professor, really, I don't mind being called Armadillo…at least not that much…_

_Tabby: I think he's mad about the 'Professor Shiny' comment Lance made_

_Pietro: snicker Armadillo!_

_Evan: Oh shit, I forgot that Maximoff might see this thing…_

_Scott: What is this, a chatroom?_

_Jean: Might as well be._

**34) Stop asking Kitty to cook.**

_Kitty: I don't mind, Professor, really!_

_Lance: No, you just don't have the time to do all that cooking!_

_Kurt: We wouldn't want you to tax yourself!_

_Kitty: Aww, you guys are so sweet!_

**35) Using your powers to 'see if someone _like_ likes you' is strictly forbidden. Rogue.**

_Rogue: It wasn't for me! It was for someone else!_

_Sam: Hey! I'm the only one you've touched recently! Who was it for?_

_Rogue: I'm not going to tell. Besides, I touched Jean and Kurt in a Danger Room session._

_Sam: Yeah, but you 'accidentally' tripped and 'accidentally' caught my arm with your gloves off and knocked me out for a few hours!_

_Rogue: You're word against mine, sugar_

**36) Stop trying to see if magnets will stick to Logan.**

_Tabby: Fine. Spoil sport._

**37) Stop trying to see if magnets will stick to Piotr.**

_Bobby: But they do! It's so cool!_

_Piotr: I will see what sticking you in a freezer will do._

_Bobby: He just threatened me! Did you hear that?_

_Sam: We're writing on this thing, Bobby, not speaking_

_Bobby: Not. The. Point._

**38) Let people pick out their own Halloween costumes, Kitty.**

_Kitty: Did you notice these rules are getting more and more direct? They used to be general._

_Lance: Maybe he's getting more and more directly pissed?_

_Kitty: You like our costumes, right Lance?_

_Lance: You haven't told me what they are yet._

_Kitty: Oh you'll love them!_

_Lance: As long as I'm not required to wear tights, I'll love them. On that topic, think we can force Pietro into dressing up like Peter Pan?_

_Pietro: NO!_

_Wanda: We have costumes planned._

_Kitty: Wow! You guys are doing something TOGETHER?_

_Pietro+Wanda: Shut it Kitty._

**39) Do not teach the students how to play poker.**

_Remy: They weren't betting with anything except candy!_

_Scott: It starts with candy and progresses to money…_

_Rogue: Actually, it probably will progress to clothes much faster…_

**40) Personal grudges are to be checked at the door when entering the Danger Room.**

_Ray: Grudge? I know not what he speaketh of._

_Roberto: Stupid._

_Ray: Jerk._

_Roberto: Ass_

_Jean: ROBERTO!_

**41) Attacks on any person inside the Institution grounds is forbidden, even if you don't use your powers.**

_Bobby: Does that include food fights?_

_Jubes: Or pillow fights?_

**42) Whatever that book is, stop quoting it.**

_St. John: HE MADE THIS #42! OMG!_

_Rahne: Don't Panic_

**43) Caffeinated coffee is a privilege, not a right.**

_Jean: WHAT? Professor! How dare you threaten us with decaf?_

_Rogue: I'm with Red on this!_

_Lance: Me too!_

_Rogue: You don't live here!_

**44) If you don't know what a button does, DON'T PUSH IT!**

_Bobby: Why do we HAVE a button that releases a gas that will knock us out into the air ducts?_

_Ray: Between that and the lasers in the front yard, I'm getting worried_

_St. John: Lasers?_

**45) Do not give Pietro a Rubix Cube ever again.**

_Pietro: I can't figure it out! I will not be defeated! Daniels challenged me! How come he can figure it out and I CAN'T?_

_Evan: 'Cause I'm better than you are._

* * *

Songs: "I Wanna Rock'n'Roll" – Kiss; "Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom" – Venga Boys; "Blue" – Eiffel 65; "Baby's On Fire" – Venus in Furs (from Velvet Goldmine soundtrack); "Flesh Mechanic" – Placebo (obscure single, not released on CD).


	4. Chapter 4

**Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters**

**Amelia Notes:** The air guitar song is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. The #42 rule will be understood if you read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (may he rest in peace); you could watch the movie, but it isn't very good (as in Mr. Adams was doing barrels rolls in his grave in shame).

Thanks to Skippy's List (found at wwwskippyslistcom), Tailfeather and Things Not To Do At The SGC. Plus a big shout out to Morgaine of the Faeries (who called me froody and asked where my towel was) and Jinxeh (who called me friggin' awesome and thanked me for the fish).

* * *

**46) The saying "it is better to ask for forgiveness than to get permission" does not apply to anyone in this mansion.**

_Kurt: What are you saying, precisely?_

_Jean: It isn't open to interpretation._

**47) When training with the X-Jet, Blackbird, X-Van or any other heavy machinery, you are not to attempt something you "saw in a cartoon".**

_Pietro: We wouldn't have gotten hurt._

_Sam: We're made of tougher stuff than that!_

_Kitty: It was soooo fun!_

_St. John: Right on love!_

_Scott: So, three of them could've saved themselves and the fourth was St. John?_

_Rogue: He's just insane_

**48) Students must not create fake news broadcasts about uprising powerful mutants, mutant regiments, mutant laws, mutant - human wars or the end of the world as we know it. This is your last warning.**

_Evan: I can't believe you fell for that!_

_Kurt: I hate you._

_Kitty: DEATH!_

_Rogue: He's mine!_

**49) Stop playing with Kurt's holowatch. It confuses people.**

_Roberto: Amusing, yet informative, pretending to be Jubilee_

_Rahne: You are SO dead_

_Amara: We're gonna lock you in a dark room with NO LIGHTS!_

**50) The prank war ends. Now.**

_Tabby: After the feathers_

_Bobby: And the blue food coloring_

_Jubes: Followed by the cherry bombs_

**51) Stop trying to outdo each other with victory dances.**

_Todd: They CAN'T outdo my victory dance!_

**52) Stop using Wolverine's picture for the following: target practice, the creation of voodoo/paper/Barbie dolls, 'Protect Wild Animals' t-shirts, or 'Mr. September'.**

_Tabby: How about Mr. December?_

**53) You are not pirates or ninjas.**

_Kurt: Hiya!_

_Ray: Avast me harties! Yo ho!_

**54) The jokes about Discworld and the Four Horsemen stop now.**

_St. John: Damn_

**55) Do not give Pietro sugar or caffeinated beverages.**

_Mr. McCoy: Or anyone else with a fast metabolism for that matter._

_Scott: Especially not Jamie._

**56) Whoever taped the 'Top Ten Things to Do With Your Clone' list to Wolverine's door should probably know that he can pick up your scent on the paper.**

_Mr. Logan: You can 'port but you can't hide._

**57) Do not write fanfiction about yourselves, a) we are not fictional and b) we have no fans.**

_Kitty: And some of those pairings? Yeah, way creepy_

_Jean: And honestly JOTT? This isn't Hollywood._

**58) The proper way to answer the phone is "Xavier's Institute" NOT "Mutant High".**

_Rogue: Mutant High is much more descriptive._

**59) Adding the word 'mutant' before the name of a sport does not make it acceptable to cheat with the aid of your powers.**

_Alex: Dude, yeah! Great idea! Mutant surfing!_

_Scott: You can't surf in New York._

**60) Do NOT go door-to-door with a petition for the X-Men to wear less spandex.**

_Bobby: The girls can keep the spandex, but I'm tired of chafing_

_Jubes: Did you just say you CHAFE?_

_Roberto: TMI Bobby_

* * *

Mini Fic Theater Proudly Presents:

**Things Not to Do When Reviewing Amelia Glitter's Fics**

1) Leave a review with only one word: _update!_ I will update. When I have the time/inclination/chapter done.

2) Tell me to hurry up with the next chapter. The chapter will be finished and up when it is finished and up. Not before.

3) Tell me I'm being mean/cruel/unfair because I'm not updating fast enough for you. Get over it. If you really feel that way, stop reading my fics.

4) Ask a question and then leave no way (e-mail and/or signed review) for me to answer your question. I will happily answer questions, but I can't if I can't contact you and I _won't_ do it in the main body of my story (unless the answer is actually part of the disclaimer that goes up after the fact…see Amelia Notes).

5) Tell me to continue. I am continuing. When I stop this fic, I'll let you know.


	5. Chapter 5

**Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters**

**Amelia Note:** I can't believe this has reached 100 reviews! This is my first fic to do so! I'm so happy! This little thing started out as just a little project to distract me and keep my brain juices flowing despite the onslaught of serious school papers and my Gundam Wing fanfic…yet it has become so much more! I'm thankful for all of my readers, even those of you who don't review.

Inspiration for this installment from Things Not to Do at Hogwarts (atalantapendrag / livejournal . com / 163152 . html).

* * *

**61) Do not ask Forge to invent machines to help you break rules.**

_Jean: You don't need a machine, you seem to be handling it just fine without one._

**62) Rahne, Kurt and Mr. McCoy do not need flea collars.**

**63) Stop making witch jokes around Wanda.**

_St. John: She may turn you into a newt!_

_Kurt: So what do you guys think? Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff?_

_Bobby: So, the flying monkeys, where are they?_

_Pietro: You guys are either brave, stupid or both._

_Lance: I vote stupid._

**64) DO NOT attempt to send 'The Evil Overlord List' to Magneto.**

_Pietro: He could really use the tips._

**65) When potential students and their parents arrive for a tour of our facilities, refrain from acting like yourselves.**

_Scott: Actually, just stay in your rooms._

**66) Stop calling Scott 'Brad' and Jean 'Janet'.**

_Forge: But it works! It's perfect!_

**67) Attempting to organize a school-wide performance of 'The Chicken Dance' for Logan** **is ill-advised.**

_Bobby: The facial expression! Priceless!_

**68) DO NOT chant "badger, badger, badger" around Logan. Even if you add "mushroom, mushroom!" at the end.**

_Tabby: Argh! Snake, it's a snake!_

**69) Exploring the versatile uses of duct tape is not an appropriate rainy day activity.**

_Roberto: Ok, not fair, that was fun._

**70) I AM NOT your 'sugar daddy'. Stop referring to me as such.**

_Tabby: But you do give us an allowance, and provide a mansion to live in._

_Ray: Sounds sugar-daddy-ish to me._

_Sam: Sugar-daddy-ish?_

**71) We are not Hogwarts, The Unseen** **University, The Starfleet** **Academy** **or Stargate Command. Stop answering the phone as such.**

_Rogue: First you ban Mutant High, now all the other fun places? How's a gal supposed to have any fun around here?_

_Remy: Remy is available 24/7!!!_

**72) Do not set up a 'freak show' outside the gates and sell tickets to see the 'Wolf Girl', 'Beast', 'Lava Girl', 'The Strong Man' or anything else you manage to think up.**

_Wanda: But I was going to read the tarot!_

_Rahne: It wasn't like I was going to be exploited; I got a percentage of the cut._

**73) Do not make fun of others' eating habits.**

_Rogue+Remy+Sam: Don't mock the sweet-tea!!!_

_Remy: Or the gumbo!_

_Jubes: You said it had turtle eggs and alligator in it!_

_Remy: No, when Remy makes it in the bayou it does. He couldn't get any turtle or gator here._

_Sam: The KFC jokes are getting old too._

**75) Halloween costumes must be approved by either Ms. Monroe or Mr. McCoy before being worn into public.**

_Tabby: So a hooker is a no-go?_

_Jean: TABITHA SMITH!!!_

_Tabby: Whoa, kidding, I'm going as Gwen Stefani…_

_Kitty: I can't wait to see everyone's costumes!_

_Lance: No tights?_

_Kitty: No tights!_

_

* * *

_

P.S.: Yes, Cajuns put turtle eggs and alligator in gumbo…as well as shrimp, crawdaddies, okra, rice and who-the-hell knows what else.


	6. Chapter 6

**Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters**

**Amelia Notes: **Whew, it took me awhile to do this one. Don't expect any more updates until the fall. I'll be working at a Girl Scout camp this summer and will have no internet access. Sorry!

* * *

**75) Setting things on fire strictly for the amusement of setting things on fire is forbidden.**

_Logan: This means you Firebug._

_St. John: It wasn't me this time!_

_Logan: What?_

_St. John: At least not completely…_

**76) Stop opening portals into parallel demensions. You don't know what the consequences could be.**

_Kurt: Yeah, remember Sadie Hawkins?_

_Kitty: Oh Kurt, you worry too much. These aren't parallel demensions, they're alternate universes. An alternate universe could actually be called an alternate timeline. According to Stephen Hawk_

_Bobby: Thank you whoever took the pen away._

_Lance: Welcome_

**77) No opening portals into alternate universes/timelines. See above.**

_Forge: Damn. Loophole closed._

**78) Stop quoting anime. Especially Sailor Moon.**

_Jean: The list of people and things we're not allowed to quote is getting awfully long._

_Scott: You want them to continue quoting Sailor Moon??!!_

_Jean: Good point._

**79) Stop poking each other. It's getting old.**

**80) Anime marathons are now forbidden.**

_Kurt+Bobby: WHY???_

_Rogue: I think the Trigun run was the final straw._

_Rahne: But I LOVE Wolfwood!_

_Kurt: Vash is better._

_St. John: I'm rather fond of Knives_

_Bobby: I will not make any crazy jokes…_

**81) Katherine "Shadowcat" Pryde, also known as Kitty, is banned from any sort of baking or cooking process.**

_Kitty: WHAT!!?? WHY??_

_Kurt: Umm, we don't want you to overwork?_

_Kitty: That's not working elf._

_Jamie: You're cookies nearly sent Logan_ _to the hospital._

_Kitty: THAT WASN'T BECAUSE OF MY COOKIES!!!!_

**82) Quit playing the "Numa Numa" song. It's more obnoxious than "badger badger badger".**

_Rogue: God, THANK YOU!!_

_Jubes: You know Rogue, I think you might be turning into Jean. You're so happy about the new rules._

_Rogue: You die._

**83) Do not set up your stereo, set it to 'repeat', crank the volume and ignore it for the rest of the day. No one wants to listen to your music, and we don't want to listen to it in constant repetition.**

_Bobby: That's not true, people love my music!_

_Kurt: Yeah, mine too!_

_Rogue: Who doesn't like Marilyn Manson?_

_Kitty: Umm, me, and I have to share a room with you._

**84) You cannot settle an argument by challenging someone to "meet you in the Danger Room, at dawn".**

_Tabby: It was effective. I kicked his ass._

_Jean: Tabby, language!_

_Roberto: If we had been outside you would have been toast._

_Tabby: Yeah, why do you think I said "Danger Room" and not "big field" or "obstacle course"? Duh._

**85) You are not allowed to build and sell tickets to 'The World's Longest Ice Slide'.**

_Bobby: Why just use our powers to save the world when we could make money too?_

_Sam: Apparently the Prof. doesn't agree._

**86) Faking an interest in chemistry for the sole purpose of getting Mr. McCoy to teach you how to build stink bombs in forbiddon.**

**87) If you don't live here, you have to get special permission to spend the night.**

_Scott: Stop crashing on the couch, Lance._

_Lance: Did you tattle on me Summers?_

_Jean: The maturity levels around here just dropped by 10_

**88) Stop having Peep Wars in the microwave.**

_Jean: That's really hard to clean up._

_Bobby: PEEEEEEP WAAARRRSS!!!!_

**89) You are not allowed to start a band.**

_Lance: The superhero thing would be great for PR._

_Ray: We could rock out!_

_Jubes: Please?_

**90) If this list reaches 100, you're all grounded with extra chores and Danger Room sessions.**

_Everyone: HEY!!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Things Not to Do at Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters **

* * *

**91) Get off of YouTube.**

_Evan: Dude, man, that is totally uncool._

_Bobby: Did realize how popular some of are antics are?_

_Kurt: Major hits._

**92) You may not sell your soul on Ebay.**

_Tabby: I wasn't selling, I was buying._

**93) You may not purchase anybody's soul on Ebay**

_Tabby: Even if it's an exceptionally good soul?_

**94) We don't need a blog.**

_Jean: Actually, it might improve mutant-human relations. People that we can't reach face to face can see us online. Oh Prof! That's a wonderful idea. Kitty and I will get started right away!_

_Jubes: Wow, Jean just steamrolled over you Prof._

**95) We don't have a mascot.**

_Bobby: What do you think we keep Rahne around for?_

_Rahne: Oh, you are so dead._

**96) Anything appearing on lists such as "101 Entertaining Things to do on the First Day of School" or "Ways to Make People Think You're Insane" is forbidden, both at the Institute and in public.**

_Amara: Thanks for all the printouts, Kitty!_

_Kitty: No prob!_

_Pietro: I think I'll make this my "Things To Do" list._

**97) Any movie on the "Movies Banned From the Institute" list is, as the title implies, banned from the Institute.**

_Scott: That's a lot of movies._

_Rogue: You banned The Crow!!_

_Tabby: There's a mistake on the list, Prof, you accidentally banned Boondock Saints._

**98) Any song on the "Songs Banned From the Institute" list is also banned from the Institute.**

_Jean: Wow._

_Kurt: We might as well just start throwing our CDs out of the windows._

**99) Anything appearing on the final list, "Misc. Things Banned From the Institute" is, again, banned from the Institute.**

_Alex: Hokay, so here is the Earth_

_Lance: Leave is to Alex to find the one thing X didn't find._

**100) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE IN THIS WORLD!! STOP!!**

_Wanda: I know a nice, quiet asylum you can rest in. _

* * *

This was the final chapter of Things Not… I will not post anymore installments, however, you can find the lists discussed in numbers 97, 98 and 99 on the following pages. There is no commenting on them, it's just sort of like a reminder of all the things the kids managed to annoy Xavier with. 

This is my most popular fanfiction to date. I was in shock when it reached 100 reviews and in absolute awe when it hit 200. Not only that, but it has had 10,382 hits. I will probably again be amazed by the reaction to this installment.

Thank you all so much for all of your reviews. I wish I could respond to each of you individually, but it's just too time-consuming. Special thanks to those that were with me from the beginning (and sincere apologies for making you wait so long between installments). And to those who have added this story to their Favorites or have added me to their Favorite Authors as a result of this fic, I'm quite honored. Especially those of you whom I have enjoyed your writing.

Much love and sparkles,

AmeliaGlitter


	8. Chapter 8

Movies Banned From the Institute

The Crow

Boondock Saints

The Princess Bride

The Labyrinth

The Dark Crystal

Gothika

Finding Nemo

Lost Boys

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Songs Banned From the Institute

The Time Warp

I Wanna RocknRoll

Boom Boom Boom Boom

Blue

Babys on Fire

Flesh Mechanic

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Numa Numa song

Misc. Things Banned From the Institute

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy the book or the movie

Rubix Cubes

Large quantities of glitter

Poker chips

Pirate or Ninja costumes unless specifically for Halloween

Any Terry Pratchett books

The Chicken Dance

The Badger Badger flash cartoon

Peeps

Sailor Moon

Concentrated amounts of sugar and/or caffeine

* * *

Amelia Notes: I would like to say I'm very sorry this took forever to get up. I thought I had already posted it. This isn't really part of the story, but just a reminder of what the kids managed to annoy Prof. X with. There will be no more updates/chapters/etc. on this story.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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